How we talk about our bodies...

Hatred is a strange unifier. People declare that they hate injustice and band together to fight. People can share in hatred of pancakes and bond over those mutual feelings... although, can anyone really hate pancakes?

As women, we live in a society where it has become acceptable to bond over the hatred of our bodies. Women gather together and mourn the things they dislike, even hate, about their appearance. I have a belly, I jiggle, I have ugly feet, my skin isn’t clear, I don’t like my thighs, I have stringy hair; it’s all been said. We can watch movies like “Mean Girls” and listen to those conversations and not be affected by them because they are so integrated into our lives. We would never say these things to other people, so why is it tolerated when we say these things to ourselves? Yes, women will affirm one another in these situations. Usually when one comments on an aspect of their body another reaches out to counter why that belief isn’t true. Women want to show support and love to one another, but why aren’t we challenging these conversations in the first place? 

How we speak about ourselves is powerful. The more we vocalize our beliefs about ourselves the more they have the opportunity to solidify in our minds. Keep talking about how unattractive your “belly” is and you will place yourself further and further from being able to embrace your body as it is. When we disassociate from our bodies and perceive them as not being our true bodies, we prevent ourselves from truly being able to nurture ourselves. 

Instead of focusing on perceived flaws, what would it be like to acknowledge the things you do like about your body? The perspective on that is usually that one would come off as self-absorbed. I try to imagine what it would be like to hear someone say that they love how beautiful their hair is. I admit that I have been conditioned to roll my eyes at such a comment and think of them as vain. I have fallen into the trap that says that denial of our positives is humility and acknowledgement is arrogance, but these are lies. That paradigm of thinking only leads us to be ashamed of what is good and hyper focus on what we can’t embrace in ourselves. 

What if the response to someone affirming themselves was, “YES!!” I know that some people find themselves in a place of not having anything good to say about themselves, but you can begin with anything as small as, “I love the color of my eyes,” or “I like my pinky finger.” Acknowledge your beauty and the beauty of others without fear!

Malia is a Nashville based dietitian with a heart to help people learn to how to nurture themselves. She has a heart for alternative transportation and reducing food waste. Her dream is to ride a tandem bike all over the world. 

What is enough?

Recently I was sick in bed and had the TV tuned to a Christian TV show. The Q&A portion of the show posed this question: “God hasn’t provided for me…I’m really mad at Him. Will I still get into heaven?”

As I lay in bed, the question did not sit well with me. I began to get frustrated thinking of my own circumstance and the circumstances of those around me. And in the midst of the most consumer driven season of the year I began to ask questions about 'provision'. What is it? Have I been provided for? What is enough?

I recently returned from a MAM trip to a Native American reservation in North Dakota, where although the government is giving monthly monies to the families, the children are living without enough food, without gloves or socks. Our host church had its final heater go out while we were there - in an area where last year there were 2 solid months where the temperature did not rise above -10! They can no longer heat the building where they lovingly meet the spiritual needs of this community, feed the hungry and give the youth and the children of Fort Yates somewhere to be. 

Then I come home to my middle class neighborhood in Franklin, TN, where I see prosperity in many ways and yet face my reality of not having enough. My neighbors recently had to replace their heating system which has caused stress on their finances. And me, I am a full time volunteer, our bills have gone up $750 in the past 12 months and we are just treading water on our debt. It's hard to think about around Christmas time when I am trying to feel generous and full of holiday cheer. 

It is easy for me to become overwhelmed and look around and wish my family had what others do. It is easy to say that we don’t have enough; that we need more. And sometimes, we do. Some months we spend more than we make and just put it on the credit card, because what else are you supposed to do when your heat goes out or your car breaks down?

But then I think of the children in North Dakota. The children all over the world who are starving, have no homes, no education, no parents even. And I am ashamed of myself. Ashamed that I am not satisfied, ashamed that I am jealous, ashamed that I don’t give more. But how can I? How can I give more and do more? When I need to feed my own family, pay off debt and pay bills. How can I do it all? I can do it! I have to cut back. Cut back giving, cut back spending…and I am again lost in ME. And the cycle of frustration is complete. Be conscious of my needs, become stressed and have anxiety about my needs, see the needs of others, be overwhelmed with the enormousness of the need of those around me, feel guilt and shame about my needs, try and find a solution, while finding a solution I become consumed with my needs… and the cycle starts again. 

And I am pretty sure I am not alone in this...  We are in this cycle because we care about the world around us. We see the need of others. But we see our need and feel hopeless to meet the needs in our families without even trying to make a dent in the needs of the world around us. 

I believe our idea of provision is subjective. I see those who have more and think they could never have legitimate needs. And I look at those who have less and feel guilty that I don’t do more to meet their needs. Its all about my perspective. I look at my needs and compare them to the needs of those around me and use this as a scale to validate my spending or my complaining.

The idea that I am not provided for by God is kind of ridiculous when I think that even if I was living in a homeless shelter or a cardboard box on the side of the road, that is provision. Whether I am eating a free meal provided by The Salvation Army or a home cooked, organic meal both are provision. Every time I wake up to a new day on this planet it is provision. It is only my comparing myself to those around me and the provision that they have that keeps me in this guilt/jealousy cycle. 

When I choose to ask God to be my provider I can be patient and wait on the needs that I have, I am grateful for all he has given me and I understand that what I don’t have, I don’t need - freeing me being envious of others.  When I understand that God provides for each person and that ultimately we are each in the hands of a God who provides, it frees me from the guilt that I feel for acknowledging my needs and any guilt for having the physical gifts that God has given me. 

When I see God as both my provider and the provider of those around me, if frees me to be grateful and generous. I no longer give out of obligation and guilt. I give to others not because I think I have to provide for them but because I am so grateful for what has been given to me and I give out of the joy and generosity of knowing that God is providing for others but I can be used by Him to facilitate that provision.  

This holiday season, a time where we are pushed to compare ourselves in every area, especially in what we have; a time when we feel guilted into giving to those who have less; a time when we are tempted to be jealous of those who have more - let's remember to place ourselves and those around us in the hands of the One who really is responsible for providing. Let's remember to be happy for those around us who have much and to be generous with those who have little. And most of all, lets remember to be satisfied and grateful for what God has provided for each of us. 

Christy Brooks is the founder and director of Morning After Ministries. She is passionate about every person knowing that they are loved, valued and empowered to make positive choices. Christy can often be found curled up on the couch, avoiding the cold, reading the latest young adult dystopian novel while snuggling with her young daughter.

Going Back to North Dakota...

When we said that we were going back to North Dakota in November most people looked at us like we had told them we were going to the moon. Why would you want to head into one of America's bleakest environments in winter? Simple. MAM left a piece of it's heart in North Dakota in a small town in the middle of Standing Rock Reservation so we didn't have a choice.

It was great to be back in Fort Yates and with a bigger team and a change in our agenda. After our trip in the summer, MAM has felt strongly that we should find ways to support Lance and Line and the young people in the community. This trip was all about exploring our partnership and seeing what support and services MAM might bring while providing some training for adults and programs for the youth and children.

Our Friday was filled with lots of children and young people from the local area - playing games, doing craft, enjoying the snow and some devotions and testimonies to round off the end of the day. Tytus and Jamie, our children's workers, ran some awesome activities for the children building trust and relationship very quickly - it was a joy for the rest of us on team to see them in action. There was an institution quickly established in the shape of foursquare - if ever there was a second of free time over the weekend Lance and all the guys on our team would be playing regardless of whether there were any youth there or not!

MAM also had opportunity on Friday to meet some of the teachers and social workers from Standing Rock Community Middle and High schools to see whether they would be interested in our curriculum for the students. There was a good deal of enthusiasm for what MAM could bring as outsiders to the local community - offering safe space for the young people to discuss their issues. The teachers felt that our lessons might help them gain some purpose and goals to look towards to take their eyes off of their bleak circumstances and give them a reason to keep going when things are difficult. We hope to run a trip back to the schools to run our programs in 2015. 

Saturday was a very different day with most of our focus going on training adults in dealing with the many issues that they face on the reservation. With April, who is a licensed counsellor, taking the lead we sessions on suicide prevention, counselling, self harm, addiction, sexual abuse and self care. Meanwhile, Tytus and Jamie ran some great activities for the children to keep them occupied while the adults were learning. 

Sunday was a more restful day where we were able to learn a bit more about the church and the reservation. George and Micah led worship at the church service where we joined in celebrating as Macy, one of Line's sunday school group, was baptised. We were all inspired by Pastor Ruger who despite being in his eighties drives 90+ miles to the church and back again every Sunday to lead the service - a very caring and wise man. It was a real privilege for our team to be worshipping among this small group of faithful believers who are holding out Jesus' light in that dark place.

After a whistle stop, very cold, tour of the reservation from Lance we had a great closing meeting with Lance and Line with time to share, worship and pray together. We have all been struck by the depth of relationship we have built with Lance and Line and their lovely family - and we were all so inspired by their relentlessness in loving the children and young people that God has put into their care. 

Once again, we found it hard to leave Lance and Line's little sanctuary and all our friends there - it was an extraordinary time of fellowship and learning for all of us. MAM will be back.

The Battle of Beachtowels and Droplets

From the time we are born to the moment we die, the world we encounter is trying to coat our identity with their opinions. Daily, we are told something about ourselves. It may be a friend saying positive, encouraging words, a coworker belittling our ideas or personality-identity crisis or a random person saying something mean in a parking lot. When something is said to you as truth by another person, do you question it? Do you take a look at yourself and wonder if it’s true? Do you ask a friend? A family member? Or do you pray about it? Have you looked it up in the Bible?

If you’re anything like me, the answer is you probably check with God less than you do all the other options. Perhaps you didn’t even realize how much your identity is under the influence of the world around you. Are we letting lies latch onto your identity?

Think about your identity as a dry beach towel. Every day you lay on the sand and someone walks by with an eye-dropper and drops the tiniest bit of water on your towel. The mean girl at school you can’t quite stand up to: one drop. Your boss who harasses you: one drop. The girl on Instagram you think you should look like: one drop. Your friend that makes hurtful jokes: one drop. Your dad who called you fat: two drops. You cutting yourself: three drops. The person that abused you: four drops. The boy you slept with that left you: four drops.

Before you know it, your beach towel is soaking wet; it’s heavy and the color is distorted. It doesn’t look like yours and it’s uncomfortable to lay on. The reality is we let people dump lies on our identity daily - sometimes it’s something about the core of who we are, sometimes just some aspect of us - but lies all the same. We don’t notice the damp beach towel underneath us until it’s sopping wet.

So how do we keep our towel dry? We need to find our identity in the right place - who is the One who knows us best? What does God say about who we are?

• We are NEW CREATIONS (2 Cor 5:17). You are not who you used to be. His mercies are new daily (Lam 3:22-23). Don’t let anyone tell you your past defines you.

• We are ARTWORK. For we are His workmanship... (Eph 2:10a) The greek word for workmanship is poiēma. This word means ‘work’ or ‘of the works of God as Creator’. WE are HIS work; A masterful creation by a masterful Creator.

• We are FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE (Ps 139:14). The word fearfully here means to inspire fear or awe and to be revered, honored, and respected. Treat yourself and others with honor and respect - that’s how God see us!

• Our bodies are TEMPLES (1 Cor 6:19). Would you stand by and watch while people trashed the church building you meet in? Unlikely. If our bodies are are temples, then we shouldn’t let ourselves or anyone mistreat our bodies, take advantage of them or disrespect any part of us.

• We are BELOVED and CHILDREN OF GOD (1 Jn 3:1-2). God is the perfect parent loving and caring for His children. You are not alone and you are loved.

• We are FREE FROM CONDEMNATION (Rom 8:1-2) through Christ - we needn’t live in guilt and shame we can stand with our heads held high knowing we are loved as we are.

And there are so many more promises in the Bible to stand on. Every time the world tries to attack your identity, recognize it, deflect it with the scripture you know, and thank God for a chance to practice your faith and for the reminder that you are the child to the King.  

Jenna is a native Nashvillian. She is a dancer, writer, and just-for-fun-photographer. She studies Public Relations at Middle Tennessee State University and choreographs for musicals.

Time for a change

Most people around me, including myself, seem to be entering a new season of change and transition... Marriages, school changes, babies, major life-changing decisions being made, internships, jobs, relationship changes, you name it, it’s happening all around us. 

In the midst of all the change in my own life, I have finally realized that you can't do everything on your own. You can certainly try, but you will not get nearly as far as you will if you have a support system, and rely on God for your strength and wisdom. 

This summer I thought I had my life all sewn up. I was in a serious relationship. I was moving to Georgia. I was going to school there at KSU. I had plans for the future. I thought I knew exactly where my life was going but everything was about to change. 

For a long time my faith had been wavering, it was shaky and it was on the back burner - I knew that had to change. I made a decision at the beginning of the summer to start praying about all of my big decisions before committing to anything. While some things went overlooked, others I prayed about extensively - my personal relationships, moving, schools, internships, money, and my future. As a Christian, I want to honor God in all areas of my life and so I began speaking with God several times a day everything that was going on (not just the pretty parts!) and life began to change dramatically. 

As my relationship with God grew stronger I found my other personal relationships began to weaken. I came to realize that there were things in my life that did not honor God and my relationship with Him. The decisions I had made - to move to Georgia, to attend KSU - were all for the wrong reasons and I had left God out of them. After spending the summer in prayer and petition with the Lord and drawing close to him, nothing was working out with the move, the school, or, worst of all for me, with my relationship. I felt like my world was crashing down around me. 

I felt God was calling me to new things and so as hard as it was I made the decision to end that relationship, to stick in Nashville and to change schools and that led to lots of new things. Those decision would never have happened if I didn’t have faith - I had to step out and trust God and he put all of these opportunities in my path. I trusted that when one door closes, God always opens another. And in my case, He opened several. I have started an internship with MAM and I have a new job with flexible hours enabling me to take all these opportunities. I am actually able to graduate with my associate’s degree in Social Work this semester (which I did not believe would be possible). But it doesn’t stop there, I have been introduced to the opportunity to begin my own business that has the potential to provide for me for a good time to come. It also comes with the added blessing of being inspired by so many women who work based on the Golden Rule and ‘God first, family second, and career third’. How awesome is that? I am so blessed. 

Although I know the Christian life isn't always as rosy as it is right now, I know the only reason things have worked out so well for me is because I took a leap of faith in the right direction and I am now allowing God to lead my life because I know I cannot do it on my own. I know I cannot make decisions and grow in wisdom without going to my Heavenly Father. At this point, I have no idea what next semester holds for me, and I am not worried about it one bit. I am going to take everything one step at a time, and pray about every decision and make sure everything I do has a purpose.






Bri has been a long standing volunteer and is currently interning with MAM. She is great with kids and always has a smile for you. She likes to go adventuring, smell scented candles and jam out to loud music.

Celebrate Your Selfie… Part 1

What are you afraid of that makes you jump back or even cry? Bugs? Spiders? Mice? Photos?

That’s right: photos.

I’ve always loved taking pictures but when someone tried to take a photo of me it was pulverizing. I would tense up, try to avoid the photo, and I would be rude to the person taking the photo. Sometimes I would run to the bathroom and cry. No matter the reaction, the act of someone taking a photo of me would always completely turn my day around. I could go from careless and happy to angry and self-loathing with one click of a camera.

This process of emotions mentioned above began about freshman year of high school and continued until THIS year. That’s about five years. My fear of seeing my own face in a photo hindered family outings, hang-out time with friends, as well as dance and school functions.

I vividly remember a Christmas party at church where I was rude to my mother and my best friend because I wanted so much for my mom to stop trying to take my photo. I was so afraid of being rejected for the way I looked that I lashed out on loved ones. I couldn’t face the girl I saw in photos.

This summer, I was privileged to witness MAM’s #BeyondCompare campaign first-hand. At Audiofeed Festival and Wachinyeya festival, I was among many volunteers asking festival-goers to let me photograph them.  We would ask them to write an intrinsic value about themselves that makes them unique (i.e. I am a survivor) as a statement of being #beyondcompare because we are loved by God. We needn’t compare ourselves to media stereotypes or the ideals of others because we have are firm in our identity as a child of God.

Through helping with this campaign, I was able to see people like myself who feared photos. I would see the hesitation in people’s faces when I’d ask “Would you like to do our photobooth?” If the person I asked participated, I would take the photograph and sometimes ask “Do you want to see it?” to which many would respond, “Oh no, no I don’t like pictures of myself.”  

So what then?

Do we settle for ignoring our own photograph so we can “move on” and not worry about our fear of selfies? Or maybe you do what I often did-where you post a selfie on Instagram and if only two people like it then you delete it. Should we let our affirmation be in Instagram?

What is really being achieved if we actually like the way we look in pictures? Is it harming anyone if we just ignore the way we feel about selfies?

I want to know your thoughts. Take a look back at these questions. Think about questions you may have. Message me on Facebook or with your thoughts or comment on any of MAM’s social media and let us know what you think.

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/MAMministries

Twitter- @MAMministries

Instagram: @Mamministries

#MAMministries #BeyondCompare #CelebrateYourSelfie

Jenna is a native Nashvillian. She is a dancer, writer, and just-for-fun-photographer. She studies Public Relations at Middle Tennessee State University and choreographs for musicals.

Suicide… It's time to look up and listen

This is not where I originally planned to start, but this has once again hit close to home and has been weighing heavily on my heart. I think quickly, have horrible grammar, and cannot spell.

Here we go.

Suicide.

One person commits suicide every 40 seconds.

Suicide - to kill oneself, ‘is the act of intentionally causing one’s own death. Often carried out as a result of despair’.

What causes this despair? What pushes someone to that point?

Obsessive thoughts?

Anger?

Loneliness?

Fear?

Financial problems?

Relationship problems?

Grief?

Mental illness?

Substance abuse?

Addiction?

Emptiness?

Eating disorders?

Sexuality?

Acceptance?

Sexual, physical, mental abuse?

Feeling like you've hit rock bottom?

No way to get out?

One person every 40 seconds. How then is it so taboo to talk about these issues in our society today? We struggle to have sympathy or empathy. We struggle to relate to a situation that seems so bad that suicide seems the best option. We think it's selfish and we get angry. I know...I've been guilty of this. I've been one of those ‘left behind’ to try and figure out why they did it. Becoming to busy with work, life, the little things, to recognize:

The desperation

The hopelessness

The panic

The anxiety

The nightmares

The fear

The insomnia

The disinterest

The isolation

The sadness

The rejection

The victimization

The agitation

Up to 75% of those who attempt suicide tell someone about their intention.

Are we listening?

Ask questions.

Hear what is said and what is left unsaid.

Be vigilant.

Let people know that you care, that they are not alone.

No one is beyond help.

Everyone is loved by the Father even if they don’t know it.

Let's take a minute of every day, put the phone down, step away from the computer, stop thinking about work, the list of things you need to get done, shut out the social media, turn off the tv, the radio.

For just one minute a day, give someone your undivided attention and look at them, no, really see them.

Tell them you care, or don't say anything at all, and just listen.

I challenge myself, I challenge all of you - let's see what we can do together, what we can change.

Let's not be left wondering why.

Release the guilt, the anger, the helplessness, the flashbacks, that last argument, the last conversation.

Let's do this together.

Katye is a professional ballroom dancer who loves teaching as well as dancing. She has been both dancing and writing since she was young. Katye wants to share the amazing things God has done in her life with the world around her.