How we talk about our bodies...

Hatred is a strange unifier. People declare that they hate injustice and band together to fight. People can share in hatred of pancakes and bond over those mutual feelings... although, can anyone really hate pancakes?

As women, we live in a society where it has become acceptable to bond over the hatred of our bodies. Women gather together and mourn the things they dislike, even hate, about their appearance. I have a belly, I jiggle, I have ugly feet, my skin isn’t clear, I don’t like my thighs, I have stringy hair; it’s all been said. We can watch movies like “Mean Girls” and listen to those conversations and not be affected by them because they are so integrated into our lives. We would never say these things to other people, so why is it tolerated when we say these things to ourselves? Yes, women will affirm one another in these situations. Usually when one comments on an aspect of their body another reaches out to counter why that belief isn’t true. Women want to show support and love to one another, but why aren’t we challenging these conversations in the first place? 

How we speak about ourselves is powerful. The more we vocalize our beliefs about ourselves the more they have the opportunity to solidify in our minds. Keep talking about how unattractive your “belly” is and you will place yourself further and further from being able to embrace your body as it is. When we disassociate from our bodies and perceive them as not being our true bodies, we prevent ourselves from truly being able to nurture ourselves. 

Instead of focusing on perceived flaws, what would it be like to acknowledge the things you do like about your body? The perspective on that is usually that one would come off as self-absorbed. I try to imagine what it would be like to hear someone say that they love how beautiful their hair is. I admit that I have been conditioned to roll my eyes at such a comment and think of them as vain. I have fallen into the trap that says that denial of our positives is humility and acknowledgement is arrogance, but these are lies. That paradigm of thinking only leads us to be ashamed of what is good and hyper focus on what we can’t embrace in ourselves. 

What if the response to someone affirming themselves was, “YES!!” I know that some people find themselves in a place of not having anything good to say about themselves, but you can begin with anything as small as, “I love the color of my eyes,” or “I like my pinky finger.” Acknowledge your beauty and the beauty of others without fear!

Malia is a Nashville based dietitian with a heart to help people learn to how to nurture themselves. She has a heart for alternative transportation and reducing food waste. Her dream is to ride a tandem bike all over the world. 

Celebrate Your Selfie… Part 1

What are you afraid of that makes you jump back or even cry? Bugs? Spiders? Mice? Photos?

That’s right: photos.

I’ve always loved taking pictures but when someone tried to take a photo of me it was pulverizing. I would tense up, try to avoid the photo, and I would be rude to the person taking the photo. Sometimes I would run to the bathroom and cry. No matter the reaction, the act of someone taking a photo of me would always completely turn my day around. I could go from careless and happy to angry and self-loathing with one click of a camera.

This process of emotions mentioned above began about freshman year of high school and continued until THIS year. That’s about five years. My fear of seeing my own face in a photo hindered family outings, hang-out time with friends, as well as dance and school functions.

I vividly remember a Christmas party at church where I was rude to my mother and my best friend because I wanted so much for my mom to stop trying to take my photo. I was so afraid of being rejected for the way I looked that I lashed out on loved ones. I couldn’t face the girl I saw in photos.

This summer, I was privileged to witness MAM’s #BeyondCompare campaign first-hand. At Audiofeed Festival and Wachinyeya festival, I was among many volunteers asking festival-goers to let me photograph them.  We would ask them to write an intrinsic value about themselves that makes them unique (i.e. I am a survivor) as a statement of being #beyondcompare because we are loved by God. We needn’t compare ourselves to media stereotypes or the ideals of others because we have are firm in our identity as a child of God.

Through helping with this campaign, I was able to see people like myself who feared photos. I would see the hesitation in people’s faces when I’d ask “Would you like to do our photobooth?” If the person I asked participated, I would take the photograph and sometimes ask “Do you want to see it?” to which many would respond, “Oh no, no I don’t like pictures of myself.”  

So what then?

Do we settle for ignoring our own photograph so we can “move on” and not worry about our fear of selfies? Or maybe you do what I often did-where you post a selfie on Instagram and if only two people like it then you delete it. Should we let our affirmation be in Instagram?

What is really being achieved if we actually like the way we look in pictures? Is it harming anyone if we just ignore the way we feel about selfies?

I want to know your thoughts. Take a look back at these questions. Think about questions you may have. Message me on Facebook or with your thoughts or comment on any of MAM’s social media and let us know what you think.

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/MAMministries

Twitter- @MAMministries

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#MAMministries #BeyondCompare #CelebrateYourSelfie

Jenna is a native Nashvillian. She is a dancer, writer, and just-for-fun-photographer. She studies Public Relations at Middle Tennessee State University and choreographs for musicals.

Suicide… It's time to look up and listen

This is not where I originally planned to start, but this has once again hit close to home and has been weighing heavily on my heart. I think quickly, have horrible grammar, and cannot spell.

Here we go.

Suicide.

One person commits suicide every 40 seconds.

Suicide - to kill oneself, ‘is the act of intentionally causing one’s own death. Often carried out as a result of despair’.

What causes this despair? What pushes someone to that point?

Obsessive thoughts?

Anger?

Loneliness?

Fear?

Financial problems?

Relationship problems?

Grief?

Mental illness?

Substance abuse?

Addiction?

Emptiness?

Eating disorders?

Sexuality?

Acceptance?

Sexual, physical, mental abuse?

Feeling like you've hit rock bottom?

No way to get out?

One person every 40 seconds. How then is it so taboo to talk about these issues in our society today? We struggle to have sympathy or empathy. We struggle to relate to a situation that seems so bad that suicide seems the best option. We think it's selfish and we get angry. I know...I've been guilty of this. I've been one of those ‘left behind’ to try and figure out why they did it. Becoming to busy with work, life, the little things, to recognize:

The desperation

The hopelessness

The panic

The anxiety

The nightmares

The fear

The insomnia

The disinterest

The isolation

The sadness

The rejection

The victimization

The agitation

Up to 75% of those who attempt suicide tell someone about their intention.

Are we listening?

Ask questions.

Hear what is said and what is left unsaid.

Be vigilant.

Let people know that you care, that they are not alone.

No one is beyond help.

Everyone is loved by the Father even if they don’t know it.

Let's take a minute of every day, put the phone down, step away from the computer, stop thinking about work, the list of things you need to get done, shut out the social media, turn off the tv, the radio.

For just one minute a day, give someone your undivided attention and look at them, no, really see them.

Tell them you care, or don't say anything at all, and just listen.

I challenge myself, I challenge all of you - let's see what we can do together, what we can change.

Let's not be left wondering why.

Release the guilt, the anger, the helplessness, the flashbacks, that last argument, the last conversation.

Let's do this together.

Katye is a professional ballroom dancer who loves teaching as well as dancing. She has been both dancing and writing since she was young. Katye wants to share the amazing things God has done in her life with the world around her.