How we talk about our bodies...

Hatred is a strange unifier. People declare that they hate injustice and band together to fight. People can share in hatred of pancakes and bond over those mutual feelings... although, can anyone really hate pancakes?

As women, we live in a society where it has become acceptable to bond over the hatred of our bodies. Women gather together and mourn the things they dislike, even hate, about their appearance. I have a belly, I jiggle, I have ugly feet, my skin isn’t clear, I don’t like my thighs, I have stringy hair; it’s all been said. We can watch movies like “Mean Girls” and listen to those conversations and not be affected by them because they are so integrated into our lives. We would never say these things to other people, so why is it tolerated when we say these things to ourselves? Yes, women will affirm one another in these situations. Usually when one comments on an aspect of their body another reaches out to counter why that belief isn’t true. Women want to show support and love to one another, but why aren’t we challenging these conversations in the first place? 

How we speak about ourselves is powerful. The more we vocalize our beliefs about ourselves the more they have the opportunity to solidify in our minds. Keep talking about how unattractive your “belly” is and you will place yourself further and further from being able to embrace your body as it is. When we disassociate from our bodies and perceive them as not being our true bodies, we prevent ourselves from truly being able to nurture ourselves. 

Instead of focusing on perceived flaws, what would it be like to acknowledge the things you do like about your body? The perspective on that is usually that one would come off as self-absorbed. I try to imagine what it would be like to hear someone say that they love how beautiful their hair is. I admit that I have been conditioned to roll my eyes at such a comment and think of them as vain. I have fallen into the trap that says that denial of our positives is humility and acknowledgement is arrogance, but these are lies. That paradigm of thinking only leads us to be ashamed of what is good and hyper focus on what we can’t embrace in ourselves. 

What if the response to someone affirming themselves was, “YES!!” I know that some people find themselves in a place of not having anything good to say about themselves, but you can begin with anything as small as, “I love the color of my eyes,” or “I like my pinky finger.” Acknowledge your beauty and the beauty of others without fear!

Malia is a Nashville based dietitian with a heart to help people learn to how to nurture themselves. She has a heart for alternative transportation and reducing food waste. Her dream is to ride a tandem bike all over the world. 

Going Back to North Dakota...

When we said that we were going back to North Dakota in November most people looked at us like we had told them we were going to the moon. Why would you want to head into one of America's bleakest environments in winter? Simple. MAM left a piece of it's heart in North Dakota in a small town in the middle of Standing Rock Reservation so we didn't have a choice.

It was great to be back in Fort Yates and with a bigger team and a change in our agenda. After our trip in the summer, MAM has felt strongly that we should find ways to support Lance and Line and the young people in the community. This trip was all about exploring our partnership and seeing what support and services MAM might bring while providing some training for adults and programs for the youth and children.

Our Friday was filled with lots of children and young people from the local area - playing games, doing craft, enjoying the snow and some devotions and testimonies to round off the end of the day. Tytus and Jamie, our children's workers, ran some awesome activities for the children building trust and relationship very quickly - it was a joy for the rest of us on team to see them in action. There was an institution quickly established in the shape of foursquare - if ever there was a second of free time over the weekend Lance and all the guys on our team would be playing regardless of whether there were any youth there or not!

MAM also had opportunity on Friday to meet some of the teachers and social workers from Standing Rock Community Middle and High schools to see whether they would be interested in our curriculum for the students. There was a good deal of enthusiasm for what MAM could bring as outsiders to the local community - offering safe space for the young people to discuss their issues. The teachers felt that our lessons might help them gain some purpose and goals to look towards to take their eyes off of their bleak circumstances and give them a reason to keep going when things are difficult. We hope to run a trip back to the schools to run our programs in 2015. 

Saturday was a very different day with most of our focus going on training adults in dealing with the many issues that they face on the reservation. With April, who is a licensed counsellor, taking the lead we sessions on suicide prevention, counselling, self harm, addiction, sexual abuse and self care. Meanwhile, Tytus and Jamie ran some great activities for the children to keep them occupied while the adults were learning. 

Sunday was a more restful day where we were able to learn a bit more about the church and the reservation. George and Micah led worship at the church service where we joined in celebrating as Macy, one of Line's sunday school group, was baptised. We were all inspired by Pastor Ruger who despite being in his eighties drives 90+ miles to the church and back again every Sunday to lead the service - a very caring and wise man. It was a real privilege for our team to be worshipping among this small group of faithful believers who are holding out Jesus' light in that dark place.

After a whistle stop, very cold, tour of the reservation from Lance we had a great closing meeting with Lance and Line with time to share, worship and pray together. We have all been struck by the depth of relationship we have built with Lance and Line and their lovely family - and we were all so inspired by their relentlessness in loving the children and young people that God has put into their care. 

Once again, we found it hard to leave Lance and Line's little sanctuary and all our friends there - it was an extraordinary time of fellowship and learning for all of us. MAM will be back.

The Battle of Beachtowels and Droplets

From the time we are born to the moment we die, the world we encounter is trying to coat our identity with their opinions. Daily, we are told something about ourselves. It may be a friend saying positive, encouraging words, a coworker belittling our ideas or personality-identity crisis or a random person saying something mean in a parking lot. When something is said to you as truth by another person, do you question it? Do you take a look at yourself and wonder if it’s true? Do you ask a friend? A family member? Or do you pray about it? Have you looked it up in the Bible?

If you’re anything like me, the answer is you probably check with God less than you do all the other options. Perhaps you didn’t even realize how much your identity is under the influence of the world around you. Are we letting lies latch onto your identity?

Think about your identity as a dry beach towel. Every day you lay on the sand and someone walks by with an eye-dropper and drops the tiniest bit of water on your towel. The mean girl at school you can’t quite stand up to: one drop. Your boss who harasses you: one drop. The girl on Instagram you think you should look like: one drop. Your friend that makes hurtful jokes: one drop. Your dad who called you fat: two drops. You cutting yourself: three drops. The person that abused you: four drops. The boy you slept with that left you: four drops.

Before you know it, your beach towel is soaking wet; it’s heavy and the color is distorted. It doesn’t look like yours and it’s uncomfortable to lay on. The reality is we let people dump lies on our identity daily - sometimes it’s something about the core of who we are, sometimes just some aspect of us - but lies all the same. We don’t notice the damp beach towel underneath us until it’s sopping wet.

So how do we keep our towel dry? We need to find our identity in the right place - who is the One who knows us best? What does God say about who we are?

• We are NEW CREATIONS (2 Cor 5:17). You are not who you used to be. His mercies are new daily (Lam 3:22-23). Don’t let anyone tell you your past defines you.

• We are ARTWORK. For we are His workmanship... (Eph 2:10a) The greek word for workmanship is poiēma. This word means ‘work’ or ‘of the works of God as Creator’. WE are HIS work; A masterful creation by a masterful Creator.

• We are FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE (Ps 139:14). The word fearfully here means to inspire fear or awe and to be revered, honored, and respected. Treat yourself and others with honor and respect - that’s how God see us!

• Our bodies are TEMPLES (1 Cor 6:19). Would you stand by and watch while people trashed the church building you meet in? Unlikely. If our bodies are are temples, then we shouldn’t let ourselves or anyone mistreat our bodies, take advantage of them or disrespect any part of us.

• We are BELOVED and CHILDREN OF GOD (1 Jn 3:1-2). God is the perfect parent loving and caring for His children. You are not alone and you are loved.

• We are FREE FROM CONDEMNATION (Rom 8:1-2) through Christ - we needn’t live in guilt and shame we can stand with our heads held high knowing we are loved as we are.

And there are so many more promises in the Bible to stand on. Every time the world tries to attack your identity, recognize it, deflect it with the scripture you know, and thank God for a chance to practice your faith and for the reminder that you are the child to the King.  

Jenna is a native Nashvillian. She is a dancer, writer, and just-for-fun-photographer. She studies Public Relations at Middle Tennessee State University and choreographs for musicals.

Suicide… It's time to look up and listen

This is not where I originally planned to start, but this has once again hit close to home and has been weighing heavily on my heart. I think quickly, have horrible grammar, and cannot spell.

Here we go.

Suicide.

One person commits suicide every 40 seconds.

Suicide - to kill oneself, ‘is the act of intentionally causing one’s own death. Often carried out as a result of despair’.

What causes this despair? What pushes someone to that point?

Obsessive thoughts?

Anger?

Loneliness?

Fear?

Financial problems?

Relationship problems?

Grief?

Mental illness?

Substance abuse?

Addiction?

Emptiness?

Eating disorders?

Sexuality?

Acceptance?

Sexual, physical, mental abuse?

Feeling like you've hit rock bottom?

No way to get out?

One person every 40 seconds. How then is it so taboo to talk about these issues in our society today? We struggle to have sympathy or empathy. We struggle to relate to a situation that seems so bad that suicide seems the best option. We think it's selfish and we get angry. I know...I've been guilty of this. I've been one of those ‘left behind’ to try and figure out why they did it. Becoming to busy with work, life, the little things, to recognize:

The desperation

The hopelessness

The panic

The anxiety

The nightmares

The fear

The insomnia

The disinterest

The isolation

The sadness

The rejection

The victimization

The agitation

Up to 75% of those who attempt suicide tell someone about their intention.

Are we listening?

Ask questions.

Hear what is said and what is left unsaid.

Be vigilant.

Let people know that you care, that they are not alone.

No one is beyond help.

Everyone is loved by the Father even if they don’t know it.

Let's take a minute of every day, put the phone down, step away from the computer, stop thinking about work, the list of things you need to get done, shut out the social media, turn off the tv, the radio.

For just one minute a day, give someone your undivided attention and look at them, no, really see them.

Tell them you care, or don't say anything at all, and just listen.

I challenge myself, I challenge all of you - let's see what we can do together, what we can change.

Let's not be left wondering why.

Release the guilt, the anger, the helplessness, the flashbacks, that last argument, the last conversation.

Let's do this together.

Katye is a professional ballroom dancer who loves teaching as well as dancing. She has been both dancing and writing since she was young. Katye wants to share the amazing things God has done in her life with the world around her.