What are you afraid of that makes you jump back or even cry? Bugs? Spiders? Mice? Photos?
That’s right: photos.
I’ve always loved taking pictures but when someone tried to take a photo of me it was pulverizing. I would tense up, try to avoid the photo, and I would be rude to the person taking the photo. Sometimes I would run to the bathroom and cry. No matter the reaction, the act of someone taking a photo of me would always completely turn my day around. I could go from careless and happy to angry and self-loathing with one click of a camera.
This process of emotions mentioned above began about freshman year of high school and continued until THIS year. That’s about five years. My fear of seeing my own face in a photo hindered family outings, hang-out time with friends, as well as dance and school functions.
I vividly remember a Christmas party at church where I was rude to my mother and my best friend because I wanted so much for my mom to stop trying to take my photo. I was so afraid of being rejected for the way I looked that I lashed out on loved ones. I couldn’t face the girl I saw in photos.
This summer, I was privileged to witness MAM’s #BeyondCompare campaign first-hand. At Audiofeed Festival and Wachinyeya festival, I was among many volunteers asking festival-goers to let me photograph them. We would ask them to write an intrinsic value about themselves that makes them unique (i.e. I am a survivor) as a statement of being #beyondcompare because we are loved by God. We needn’t compare ourselves to media stereotypes or the ideals of others because we have are firm in our identity as a child of God.
Through helping with this campaign, I was able to see people like myself who feared photos. I would see the hesitation in people’s faces when I’d ask “Would you like to do our photobooth?” If the person I asked participated, I would take the photograph and sometimes ask “Do you want to see it?” to which many would respond, “Oh no, no I don’t like pictures of myself.”
So what then?
Do we settle for ignoring our own photograph so we can “move on” and not worry about our fear of selfies? Or maybe you do what I often did-where you post a selfie on Instagram and if only two people like it then you delete it. Should we let our affirmation be in Instagram?
What is really being achieved if we actually like the way we look in pictures? Is it harming anyone if we just ignore the way we feel about selfies?
I want to know your thoughts. Take a look back at these questions. Think about questions you may have. Message me on Facebook or with your thoughts or comment on any of MAM’s social media and let us know what you think.
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#MAMministries #BeyondCompare #CelebrateYourSelfie
Jenna is a native Nashvillian. She is a dancer, writer, and just-for-fun-photographer. She studies Public Relations at Middle Tennessee State University and choreographs for musicals.
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