Some thoughts on thoughts... Part 2

I realize there are a lot of negative things in the world. Life can get really hard sometimes. It can get overwhelming! Watching the news, you see a lot of crazy awful things but rarely anything uplifting. Our televisions are filled with drama and crisis while there are very few shows about healthy relationships or happy families. It is really easy to see all the messed up stuff in our world and to focus on everything that is negative.

I have challenged myself to see the positive in whatever situation I find myself. I have a little necklace in the shape of a key that says “positivity is the key.” Sometimes this can be hard but it has definitely helped my everyday attitude and my stress level! I have become a much happier person. My anxiety level has lowered significantly. I am able to approach any situation more calmly than in the past when I let negativity rule my thoughts.

Do you know someone who is always negative - where everything they say is critical of things around them? They will always call out what is wrong in a situation before noticing what is right. It seems like they have the worst luck because bad things always happen to them. I’ve seen how this can affect people. It's exhausting focussing on the bad all the time. I do not want to live like that.  

I have a theory that you see what you are looking for. When you focus on the negative, you will find it. So it must be true that when you focus on the positive, you will find it. Your mind cannot focus on positive and negative at the same time - it's like trying to smile and frown at the same time - you can't.

A big part of keeping things positive is to not complain. Most things in life are not really a big deal. A lot of the things I worry and complain about are not life or death. If it is something I can change, I am learning to just do what I need to do instead of complaining about it first. If it is something that I can’t change, then there probably is not anything productive that will come out of my complaining anyway. In my brain, I try to catch myself before I complain out loud. That way I can filter my thoughts to only say things that are going to help a situation move forward in the right direction.

Living in a culture that wants to tell me that I should look different than I do, I have made a promise to myself to never say anything negative about my body out loud. I have heard so many people criticize themselves about the way they look. I look at these people and think they look awesome. It’s all about perspective. When I look in the mirror, I want to love the curves and freckles. Most people will never notice the small things I do not like about myself. I started writing positive things about myself on my mirror as a constant reminder of what I like about me. I only get one body in this life, so I might as well love it!

I'm also trying to focus positive vibes is in my relationships with others. I try to think about other people’s feelings in any situation. Many times, I find myself getting really upset about something and getting really mad at someone else without really even knowing how they feel. I could have taken their words in a way that they did not mean or they could be going through a lot and I am just the easiest target for emotions that have nothing to do with me. Most people do not know everything going on in my life, so I assume there is a ton that the people around me have going on of which I am unaware. Some of these things may be super stressful and hard for them to handle. I try to see the good in people, on their good days and their bad days. Also, when I treat people in a positive way, they tend to reciprocate. Positivity in interactions breeds more positivity.

I hope you will start to be grateful for the positive things in your life and see the good in everything. You can change the world by changing your world and having a positive impact on others. In the very least, you can help by not adding to the negativity. Start with your thoughts, and your whole life can change. 

It all starts with you. You can make the world a little brighter.

Brigid is a Texas girl living in Nashville, TN. She is a volunteer for MAM who loves laughing, Instagram, nachos and adventures.

Some thoughts on thoughts... Part 1

Words can make you smile, laugh, cry, and scream. Words have changed lives and will continue to do so forever. Words can build up and tear down relationships. Words have power.  

So what about the words in our minds: our thoughts. They have a lot of power too. Words come from our thoughts which come from our hearts. Our thoughts affect our whole lives. How are your thoughts affecting your life? Are you your biggest fan or your biggest critic? What are the things that go through your mind on a daily basis about yourself? How positive are the thoughts you have about yourself?

Here’s a crazy truth for you: not all of your thoughts are true.

If you were to think “I am the president of the United States,” doesn’t mean it is true. Just the same, thinking that you are unworthy of being loved does not mean that you actually are unworthy of love. For most of us the negative self-talk continually creeping through our brains is a lie. Sometimes lies come into our thoughts and take hold until we eventually forget reality. These messages can take root for so long. They can affect our self-esteem and the way we live our lives. It may be the words of others spoken over us, messages from the society around us, or even ourselves.

One example is a sentence that was said to me in a past relationship. “I wish you were taller and tanner and had bigger boobs.” One, that is not a nice thing to say to anyone ever. Two, these are all qualities about me that I cannot change. This translated into my brain as “I’m not good enough or attractive enough, and I never will be.” I know this is a crazy jump but I don’t think I’m the only one who has made those leaps. I embraced it as truth and it affected the way that I saw myself. It was a throw away sentence on their behalf but it shook my confidence in the relationship and other areas of my life. With this “I’m not good enough” idea floating through my head, it was easy to see the things that validated that thought and to disregard all the good things about myself.

So how do we change the patterns of negative thinking? I have been learning to sift through my thoughts and really evaluate where they are all coming from. One of the most freeing things I have done is to break off the lies that have taken hold and replace them with the truth about who I am. When I think about where some of these ideas in my head have come from, it seems crazy that I ever let them come into my brain at all. There are a lot of really awesome things about me! There are also a lot of really great people that love and support me. These are the things I want to focus on instead of the things that have been said by the people who have hurt me.

My hope for you is that you can distinguish truth from the lies. If there are any lies that you have turned into truth, I hope you will dig deep and cut them out. It might hurt a little to talk about them and deal with them but you will be able to move forward. Replace the lies and see the truth.  

Here are some positive true words about you to help replace any lies you have been believing. Write them on your mirror, put them on sticky notes around your house, and build others up with them because the world needs some more encouragement. 

You are enough.

You are loved.

You are valuable.

You have a story to tell.

Your life matters.

You are beyond compare.

Now go out and live your life with these running through your brain and I bet some things will start to change for the better.

Brigid is a Texas girl living in Nashville, TN. She is a volunteer for MAM who loves laughing, Instagram, nachos and adventures.